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Just needs a little discipline May 13, 2008

Posted by linnic in behavior, Medication.
Tags: , , , , , , ,
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I am so tired of hearing this phrase.  “He just needs some discipline.”  Granted, this is mostly coming from my ex who is largely uninvolved.  It is a phrase though that I hear in reference to my child, but also to many others.  I wish that people would understand that yes, discipline is a VERY important part to dealing with any child, but when there are biological issues that the child is dealing with, discipline can only go so far.  I have no doubt that I could beat my child black and blue and his behavior would not change. (I would NEVER in a million years try this!!)

I also get tired of hearing “he shouldn’t be on meds.”  Really?  And where is your medical degree from??  I know that kids tend to be over medicated, and that other things should be tried first, or at least in conjunction with it.  My son was in anger management/ therapy by the age of 3 and started meds shortly after turning 4.  Do I like medicating him??  Heck no!!  But, my other children deserve to live free from fear that he will hurt them.

Let’s see….other phrases I can’t stand (now I’m on my soapbox)…

  • “If he were my kid…”  Well, he’s not, thank goodness.
  • “Just spank him.”  Back to the beating comment earlier.
  • “Have you tried…?”  Yep, I probably have.
  • “There is this new….” Sorry not into accupuncture, accupressure, chiropractic, or other nontraditional methods.  Not to say they don’t work, but I am leary.
  • “He doesn’t act that way with me”  You aren’t around him everyday like we are.  Plus he is getting one-on-one attention, and everything he wants- who wouldn’t act pretty good given that??
  • “When my kids throw a tantrum, I just…”  Does your child’s tantrum involve bruising others, biting others, putting holes in the wall, throwing dangerous objects, and darting into traffic?  He can’t be left alone in his room, without causing major damage- some of which is dangerous to himself or others.

We all say things similar to these, I have even found myself uttering “well my kids…”  The point of all of this is that when you aren’t the parent and don’t know the whole situation, it is easy to judge.  It is easy to glare at a parent in the store because their kid is screaming and they “aren’t doing anything about it, but did you ever consider that maybe the child fell and got hurt?  Or the parent has already punished her?  Or that maybe the parent is at their witt’s end and is just surviving the trip??  I am trying to make a conscious effort to instead of glaring, make a positive, supportive statement to the parent.   Then I say a little prayer… “Thank you God, that it isn’t my child THIS time.”

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